it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you inspire me to be a worse person
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
