i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize