I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize