How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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