we're blogging at a bar
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
