I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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