I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The adults are the big ones right?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
