i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize