his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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