My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
