Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
