Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
