I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
