its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
