Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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