i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
