id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
