I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
