Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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