Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
