i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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