and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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