i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
