I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
