sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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