I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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