There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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