i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
