Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
