I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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