Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
