he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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