Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
