If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
