I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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