Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
