the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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