My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize