Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
