Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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