i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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