STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
