Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How's work?
Spinning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
