I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize