so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
