Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
then he tried to convert me to islam
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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