so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
do herpes really smell.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Randomize
