My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
