just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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