I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
id be glad to
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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