i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
