I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
