Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
