At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
