at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
