you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
