you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
