Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He did a backflip because drugs
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
