In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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