So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
