I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
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Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
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I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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